The Grace of Change

I'm Giving Up Polyamory

I know polyamory is in, sisters, but I'm out. Polyamorist no more.

OK, so maybe I'm embellishing a little. I'm not really a polyamorist, at least not in the "biblical sense."

But I sure am with my attention. And it's plumb wearing me out, not exactly a place from which I experience pleasure or joy.

I've realized that whatever is in front of me to do, in some sense, is my lover. And my attention is the way I make love with the weeding, the bill paying, the knitting, the person I'm talking with.

Looking For Trouble

When I took ice skating lessons in my thirties, I met an older woman who was having a ripsnorting time falling on the ice.

Intrigued, I asked Karin why she was having so much fun looking like a fool.

She grinned and replied, simple: as a rank beginner she felt more alive than she had in years.

Say what? There I was busting my gut proving to the world and myself that I was competent and powerful. Why in tarnation would anyone be happy to be so visibly ignorant?

When I took ice skating lessons in my thirties, I met an older woman who was having a ripsnorting time falling on the ice.

Intrigued, I asked Karin why she was having so much fun looking like a fool.

She grinned and replied, simple: as a rank beginner she felt more alive than she had in years.

Say what? There I was busting my gut proving to the world and myself that I was competent and powerful. Why in tarnation would anyone be happy to be so visibly ignorant?