I've been experimenting, and I love what I'm discovering.
Remember the Sabbath? Growing up that meant Sunday School (boring), lunch at my grandmother's (a little less boring), and then sitting around all afternoon (how boring can you get?). Sabbath meant, well, arrgghhhhhhhhhh.........
Fast forward almost a half-century (can that really be so?). Take one boomer woman, frazzled from decades of doing, doing, doing... Marry her off to a guy who actually loves taking naps (me, I'm an abject failure at it-I actually bought a CD that promised me ultimate 20 minute naps, but I fidgeted my way through it several times and donated it to Goodwill).
Have her realize, one Sunday afternoon when husband is napping and she's washing windows, that she's spent an ungodly amount of her life worshipping at the altar of her to-do list. Even gardening and meditating had become about Getting Stuff Done; plant the bamboo, check. Morning meditation finished, check. Unremitting busyness cramped my spirit and made me cranky.
I stopped mid-window and looked up the word "Sabbath" in my etymological dictionary. I discovered that it simply means "rest" in Hebrew. Sabbath isn't about going to church. Sabbath is about finding the holiness of being, of resting into life.
I decided then and there to ease into one Sabbath day a week. I say "eased into" because the notion of spending an entire Saturday sans email, sans to-do list, sans schedule made me hyperventilate. I gave each one up gently, as I was ready. I set as the intention for my Sabbath day that my Being would inform my Doing. In the vernacular, that meant not doing anything unless I damn well really felt like it.
I recently gave a keynote, "Drinking from the Well," at a women's retreat. I opened with a Sufi saying, “The aim is not to drink until you are so full that you never have to drink again; the aim is to cultivate the perfect thirst, so that you never stop drinking.” I realized, while preparing the talk, that that is what I really meant by Sabbath: drinking deeply from the waters of my own Being.
The point of Sabbath, I realized, was to cultivate my thirst for rest and renewal, for reconnecting with my own Source. The point was to see that Sabbath wasn't a one time event, or meant for when I was sick or utterly exhausted. The point was to honor that my need for Sabbath was as essential as my need for water.
So what does my Sabbath look like? It might include:
* lolling in bed until noon, drinking coffee, reading, curling up with cats
* gardening in a delightfully aimless way
* meditating longer, or playing with different forms of meditation
* just sitting (remember Ferdinand the bull?), and loving it
* strolling (I'm a dedicated "flaneuse," a word I made up from the French "to stroll," the French having made strolling into a high art)
* an evening gin and tonic with David on the lush and leafy secluded patio we created last year
* lavender-scented bubble baths by candlelight
* other activities David would blush for me to describe...
I've eliminated email (even if from friends, it pulls me into doing mode), laundry (maybe someday I can wash clothes as a Sabbath celebration, but don't hold your breath), going into my office, grocerying, cleaning. Anything Useful.
So how has cultivating my Sabbath-thirst affected the rest of my life? I'm noticing that during the week:
* I take more frequent breaks during the day, and a longer lunch
* I'm more patient, generous, and compassionate with others
* I'm generally kinder to myself
* I feel more creative and inspired
* I shrug off stress a little more easily
* grace and serendipity show up frequently, or perhaps I'm simply open to receiving them more
* and--most surprising of all--I'm enjoying whatever I'm doing more (yes, even laundry), because I'm bringing Sabbath ease and pleasure to weekday activities. I'm learning to Be while I Do.
So ladies, what do you think? Would you like to join with me in this experiment? I have a friend who began by dipping her toe into a Sabbath Hour, rather than a day. Thank the lolling and lazy gods, this is isn't about doing it Right.
Experiment in the spirit of play, of curiosity about what lights you up, what slakes your deepest thirst, moment by moment. Discover the delights of flowing with the pull of your spirit's tides and rhythms, rather than everyone else's timetables. Experience the ample graces of simply Being.
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