Ooof. Seems like nothing but stomach-churning news these days.
What’s an awake, life-loving gal like you or me to do? (Well, other than eat chocolate.)
Good news: during hard times, we lucky women are hardwired to use connection to deal with stress and overwhelm. And that, sisters, is very good news indeed.
Instead of responding to The Big Mess with your basic armadillo reflex (for those of you not Southern, armadillos roll up into a tight ball at the first sign of danger and just hope it all goes away), or with tight fists and clenched teeth, we are hardwired to use our divine gift of connection to reorient ourselves when life tilts at crazy angles.
Connection, my sisters, is our North Star. If we orient our journeys by it, we keep heading in the right direction for our lives and hearts, no matter what insanity is playing out around us, or within us.
Forget your ABC’s. With connection, it’s your CCC’s. The Divine Prescription: take your daily C’s in this order, and you’ll find heart’s ease and sanity even with The Big Mess Out There:
- Connect with Source
- Connect with self
- Connect with others
C-1, Connect with Source, is pretty obvious. Whatever connects you to Big Mind, Big Heart, God, do it. Be aware that after 50, there might be some surprises in this department — old ways lose their oomph, new or long-abandoned ways beckon. Whatever works for you, do it. Regularly and often.
C-2, Connect with Self, is about returning to your own self, no matter what shape you’re in. This isn’t the time for self-improvement. It’s about self-compassion, self-kindness. Again, whatever connects you to your sweet, imperfect self in the most cherishing way possible (anything from pedicures to watching the afternoon light to journaling to your trusty Rabbit), is the right thing to do. Make a list of what lights you up, and keep updating it, so you have ideas when you’ve got a half hour or afternoon to return to your own body and soul.
C-3, Connect with others from a place of generosity and kindness. PLEASE NOTICE, ladies, that this one is last on this list. If we start here, as many of us are wont to do by habit and training, we can reach out from a place of deep anxiety and neediness, which only reinforces despair (unless, of course, you’re reaching out for healing and support, in which case, you go, girl!).
C-3 doesn’t have to be big or newsworthy or dramatic. Remember Mother Teresa: “We can do no great things, only small things with great love.” We’re talking:
- A quick thank-you note (I hand-write several a week, on beautiful stationery, and consider it part of my spiritual practice)
- Cookies for a neighbor (and yes, store-bought do just fine-it’s about the thought)
- Complimenting a cashier (on their eyes, how they treated the person before you...get creative — it’s a great way to spend time in line, thinking about what you can compliment them on)
Research shows that these small acts actually lift the giver in two ways: 1. Giving lights up the pleasure centers of our brains, making us feel gooood. 2. Giving is a powerful antidote to despair and anxiety. It’s like that old saying that the fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose.
The world desperately needs us, my past-50 sisters: our intelligence and wisdom, our heart and courage, our capacity to stay in this precious moment. But the best way we can offer our gifts is by first taking our own 3 C’s.
Do I hear moans and groans about adding something *%^&@! else to your day? Thought so.
Listen, ladies: you can take your 3 C’s in just 20 minutes. And the dividends are awesome. I notice that on the days that I take my 3 C’s, my hair is shinier, my breasts perkier, my waist 6” smaller ... no, wait! I’ve been reading too many ads ...
What I meant was on those days that I give myself the gift of this discipline, I’m more awake. Soft. Alive. Grateful. No perky breasts, but a real close second.
So, back to the 20 minutes:
10 minutes of C-1, Connecting to Source.
5 minutes of C-2, Connecting to yourself.
5 minutes of C-3, Connecting to others.
Only 5 for others? Trust me, if you’ve done the previous 15 minutes with intention and awareness, the last five will be luminous with kindness. And that sort of luminosity is precisely what our world, and family and friends, are starving for. From that luminous place, you can tip the world’s axis far closer to love and joy than you can from hours of whiny, resentful martyrdom (take it from one who knows).
Play with it, my dear and wonderful sisters. We carry an elixir inside us that’s custom-formulated to ease the world’s ills: our deep, luscious wellbeing. It’s a blessing, a well of grace, a ray of hope and light and love.
And it feels so very very good, for us as well as for others. How good can that get?
So try taking your vitamin CCC’s every day. And let me know what happens.
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