Greetings, post-turkey (or tofurkey) sisters!

Hope your Thanksgiving was graced and delicious.

I’m continuing to feel deep waves of gratitude for family, friends, and really good food (particularly the turkey gumbo I made on Friday, which makes my New Orleanian toes curl up in delight just thinking about, cher).

I invite you to listen to a new audio clip on my home page. I’ve posted a ten-minute interview I had the treat of experiencing from National Public Radio station KUOW. The thoughtful interviewer and I explore how serious midlife challenges can open the gates to deep midlife pleasure.

Finally, I’m so grateful for all of y’all! Having the opportunity to reflect on pleasure, and getting your feedback (keep it coming, sisters), helps me keep remembering the utter grace of this life--all of it--and to keep dancing on the beach, like Zorba, to this whole blessed catastrophe.

With much love and pleasure,

FEATURE ARTICLE: Pleasures Not Taken

"When you die, God and the angels will hold you accountable for all the pleasures you were allowed in life that you denied yourself." ~the Talmud

Wednesday night, The Husband’s art night. David signed up for an intro to drawing class this quarter and has had a gas going. It’s something I’ve been encouraging him to do for a long time.

When he returns I ooh and ahhh at his gesture drawings. But wait...while one side of me is genuinely delighted, the other side feels...what?... resentful, martyred, and snitty.

Poor me, this secret part is whining. I work soooo hard to support him in going for his dreams. I worked soooo hard at supporting my daughter going for her dreams. Now here HE is enjoying the hell out of drawing. And here SHE is, an art major in college.

What about poor ME?

I decided this resentful and righteous martyr needed, well, a teeny bit of attention from Yours Truly.

It took me about a nanosecond to figure out (I bet this is a Big Surprise to you all) that I wanted to take an art class too.

Wayyy back in pre-children days I used to love to draw, though I was also pretty ambivalent about the whole thing, coming from a long line of professional artists. I’d dip in and out, utterly delighting how I could get lost in drawing, but then pull back, all the old family stuff rearing its ugly head.

What this meant is that I never took an art class. Never. And when my daughter was born, some part of me secretly heaved a deep sigh of relief that I now had a decades long, perfectly legitimate excuse (parenting, carpooling, work, yada yada) for not immersing myself in what I loved to do.

So here am I, now on the far side of the Great Empty Nesting Divide, and what do I do?
 
I encourage my husband to take art classes...

Well, last Wednesday night I remembered the Talmudic warning about having to account for pleasures not taken. And I realized that drawing was first on that list. Thursday morning I went to Dakota Art and bought a sketch pad, 2B pencils, and a pencil box (I have a thing for pencil boxes).

I cried when I wrote the check, I was so happy. Fortunately the woman behind the counter was an empty nester and happy to welcome me back to art. She threw in a Pink Pearl eraser as her homecoming gift to me.

And I spent much of last weekend in front of the fire that David made, winter storms blustering outside, drawing: contour drawing, gesture drawing, drawing anything and everything I saw for the sheer joy of it.

And guess what? I’m signing up for my first ever drawing class in January.

Part of the reason I’m writing this to y’all is to set my middle-aged butt securely in the fire—I know I have to follow through, despite any old anxiety, because I’m going to let y’all know in January how it’s all unfolding.
 
I’m twenty-five years closer to that Talmudic heaven and reckoning than I was when I jumped the art-pleasure ship. My lifetime supply of quarter-century chunks is diminishing.

Even if there’s no white-haired guy at the pearly gates to answer to, I want to climb back aboard. I’m tired of making excuses why I shouldn’t go directly to pleasure, my desire of desires. Now I understand (which I don’t think I did when I was thirty, not really) that when Mama’s happy, everyone else benefits.

So now, this week, I’m even more tickled to be married to an artist, and be the mother of one. Cause I get to be one now, too. How much better could life possible get?

So how about you, sisters?

What unreckoned pleasures have you stuffed into the back of your Someday Closet?

How might your life be different if you went rummaging and pulled out one, just one, of those denied pleasures?

I’m remembering now one of my favorite quotes, from Buddhist teacher Robert Thurman: “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

Last week, I came a little more alive by reclaiming a long lost treasure-pleasure.

Wanna join me?

The world needs you...

P.S. Let me know what your one reclaimed pleasure is! I’ll list them all next time~

QUICK N’EASY PLEASURE MINUTES
From my forthcoming ebook, Midlife Delights: 100 Easeful Invitations to a Deeply Pleasured Life

Your First Five Minutes for Pleasure. How do you wake up in the morning? Instead of diving headfirst into the torrents of your day, give yourself the priceless gift of your first five minutes. I once had a wise teacher who told me (often!) that the way you begin anything is the way you do anything.

So tomorrow morning, when your alarm clock rings, just...stop. Close your eyes again...Strrretch like a cat, not for anything virtuous and useful like warming up your muscles, but for the sheer erotic joy of stretching life and pleasure back into your awakening body...Give thanks for the luxurious gift of a warm bed on a cold, dark morning...Breathe into an intention for the day (I often use, “May I offer love and kindness to others and myself.”)...From this openhearted and pleasured place, imagine your day unfolding in a way that quietly lights you up.

Now slowly and easefully arise, bringing with you into your day your first five minutes of delight...Ahhh...

 ABOUT Pleasure and Soul
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Contact me at Melissa@MelissaGayleWest.com

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COACHING SESSIONS WITH MELISSA
If you would like to:

• Experience deep and authentic pleasure in your life
• Create a life that sings for you, free from struggle and efforting
• Free yourself from damaging cultural myths about growing older that limit your aliveness, creativity, and unique genius
• Making a meaningful difference in this time in your life
• Deepen your spiritual journey in a way that reflects who you are now
• Reclaim curiosity, gratitude, and wonder for your journey

Read more about how you can benefit from private coaching with Melissa: http://www.MelissaGayleWest.com
If you're interested, contact Melissa at Melissa@MelissaGayleWest.com, or 206.427.1325

Melissa Gayle West
106 NW 104th St.
Seattle, WA 98177