Greetings, Sisters!

A gorgeous fall day here in Seattle: brilliant azure sky and a garden full of Japanese maples crowing in reds and golds.

Something about fall makes for fresh starts-must be all those years of new notebooks, new clothes, and freshly sharpened pencils. I’m happy to pass along to you in the article below one of my favorite tools, “Spring Cleaning,” for making a fresh start with pleasure!

And, speaking of tools, a new addition to the newsletter (in response to y’all’s requests): Quick n’ Easy Pleasure Minutes, a tip for bringing new pleasure into your life in five minutes or less.

With love and pleasure,

FEATURE ARTICLE: Stuff IN My Cat

Pleasurista Marian wrote me after the “Stuff On My Cat” newsletter article, "As I looked around my house I realize what gives me hairballs is not Stuff On My Cat, but Stuff In My Cat."

I wrote her back, intrigued, and asked her what she meant. For Marian it wasn't the stuff outside that was cramping her pleasure-style.

It was all the Stuff inside her poor pleasure-starved head.

All those old beliefs about how everything on The List needs to be crossed off first in order to be happy and pleasured.

All those old beliefs about not deserving pleasure and happiness even if she does complete everything on The List. (Kind of like cleaning your plate--even the overcooked Brussels sprouts--and being told you can't have a slice of the chocolate cake anyway.)

Most of us pass the half-century mark with, well, a half-century of Stuff in our heads that limits pleasure, happiness, and aliveness.

I asked Marian what her Stuff was. Maybe these sound vaguely familiar to you:
--I can't be pleasured until everyone around me is happy and taken care of.
--I can't enjoy pleasure until all the dishes are washed, the sheets clean, and the living room picked up.
--I don't deserve to be a full-blooded pleasurista because I lobbed a spitball at the back of Sister Mary Helena’s neck in 4nd grade, because I stole $5 from my mom’s purse in high school, because I let my baby cry for two hours thirty years ago when I had the flu and couldn’t drag myself out of bed...
--I can’t possibly be pleasured and happy until I lose ten pounds.

Marian told me she started laughing once she saw the Stuff written down. She didn't need therapy, she realized-she just needed to dissolve some of those nasty hairballs. I taught her the Spring Cleaning technique (see end of article) from the Queen Mama of Pleasure, Regena Thomashauer.

After Spring Cleaning with her best friend, Marian told me that just sitting there with her friend, drinking good coffee and watching the early autumn evening light fall there in her patio, she felt waves of pleasure that were 10+ on the purr scale.

And this, she told me, even with a stack of dishes, a shoebox of unpaid bills, and a serious pooching stomach.

How about you? How big is the Stuff In Your Cat factor for you, inhibiting your pleasured aliveness?

Ready to purr?

Spring Cleaning (from Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts, by Regena Thomashauer) Spring Cleaning with a partner (next time I’ll show you how to Spring Clean by your lovely self)

Set aside 30 minutes where the two of you can be undisturbed. Agree to confidentiality; this will free you both up to say exactly what you mean. Each of you get 15 minutes to Spring Clean on pleasure.

Number One asks Number Two, over and over, “What do you have on ‘pleasure?’” Number Two answers with whatever first comes into her mind. Number One simply replies, “Thank you.” Switch roles after 15 minutes.

Spring Cleaning might look like this:
#1: What do you have on “pleasure”?
#2: I don’t deserve it.
#1: Thank you...What do you have on “pleasure”?
#2: It just feels like something else I ‘should’ be doing.
#1: Thank you...What do you have on “pleasure”?
#2: I’d sooooo love to have more pleasure in my life.
#1: Thank you...What do you have on pleasure?

Let yourself really dive into this! You’ll probably be surprised at the hairballs you cough up. Once this Stuff sees the light of day, it’s so much easier to release.

 NEW FEATURE: Quick n’ Easy Pleasure Minutes

You’ve been asking about how to incorporate pleasure into very full lives. I totally get it! So in each newsletter I’ll share a tip from my forthcoming ebook, Pleasure in a New York Minute.

With the following Pleasure Minute, please know that this is not for “stress reduction.” This is for pleasure!

I don’t know about you, but “stress reduction” sounds like a lot of work to me. And not a whole lot of fun.
You know what I love about pleasure, sisters? It’s fun. It’s pleasureable. AND it reduces stress.

So please play with these strictly for your own pleasure. Just be with your own feelings of pleasure. Come back to these when your mind strays to what to make for dinner or what you wish you had said to your boss. Like meditation, simply keep gently returning to your focus, your feelings of pleasure.

Here’s one of my favorites: Your own scalp delight-massage (takes three minutes or less).

I don’t know about y’all, but my favorite part of getting my hair cut is the scalp massage. I don’t realize how tense my scalp is from all the Stuff inside until I sit back and get it all rubbed away! Ahhhhhhhhhh........
So now you don’t have to wait for this pleasure any more.

• You can use your own hands. I like to put several drops of scented oil (Aveda makes some great ones) on my fingertips. Slowwwly rub circles on your scalp...
• If you haven’t experience the Tingler, sister, you’ve got some major pleasure heading your way! It’s a copper gizmo that gently massages pressure points and nerve endings on the scalp and neck. You can order it online from www.TheTingler.com.
• A vibrator with a rubber disc for scalp massage. Not quite the same pleasure as using the vibrator further south, but a sensual delight nonetheless!

When I’ve delighted my scalp for three minutes, I’m purring and ready to sashay forth into the world once again, with pleasure.

 ABOUT Pleasure and Soul
ANY QUESTIONS, comments, feedback?
Contact me at Melissa@MelissaGayleWest.com

TO SUBSCRIBE (click the link!)

Please forward this newsletter to any lit-up (or longing to be lit-up) boomer women you know!

TO UNSUBSCRIBE just use the link at the bottom of this newsletter.

This newsletter and all content within it is Copyright(c) Melissa Gayle West 2007 except where otherwise noted. All rights reserved. I encourage you to share this newsletter or reprint material from it in other electronic or print publications, provided a link to http://www.MelissaGayleWest.com and copyright information are included in the credits. Please send a copy of the publication.

COACHING SESSIONS WITH MELISSA
If you would like to:

• Experience deep and authentic pleasure in your life
• Create a life that sings for you, free from struggle and efforting
• Free yourself from damaging cultural myths about growing older that limit your aliveness, creativity, and unique genius
• Making a meaningful difference in this time in your life
• Deepen your spiritual journey in a way that reflects who you are now
• Reclaim curiosity, gratitude, and wonder for your journey

Read more about how you can benefit from private coaching with Melissa: http://www.MelissaGayleWest.com
If you're interested, contact Melissa at Melissa@MelissaGayleWest.com, or 206.427.1325

Melissa Gayle West
106 NW 104th St.
Seattle, WA 98177